Libido is called the sexual drive of the sexes, which is influenced by many different factors and shapes to a large extent the perception that people have about themselves and the quality of their relationships.
Libido is expressed physically by man and woman, in the man by the flow of blood to the penis leading to erection, and in the woman by the lubrication and enlargement of the labia.
Low libido is considered a reduced sexual desire that lasts for a long period. It is not related to whether you are in a relationship or how you feel about your partner. You may have drifted away from your partner and again have a high sexual desire for other people. Like you may not be in a relationship but have fantasies and a strong desire to masturbate.
Low libido refers to a lack of interest in sex accompanied by a lack of fantasies and a lack of desire to masturbate.
Low libido is more common compared to excessively high libido, which also creates problems for the person and their relationships.
Also, men think about sex almost twice as much as women.
A Duke University study, however, debunked the myth that men think about sex about every 7 seconds and showed that following social norms, men often exaggerate how much they think about sex.
Causes that create low libido in women
Low libido in women can have many different causes, physical, psychological, emotional.
- The decrease in estrogen in women, which occurs with menopause, is one of the most important causes of decreased desire for sex. According to a study, 26% of premenopausal women and 52% of postmenopausal women felt a reduced mood to the point of indifference to the initiation of sexual activity.
- Pressure / fatigue from family obligations
- Chronic physical pains
- Depression and anxiety disorders
- Poor body image, e.g. due to obesity or social beauty standards
- Conditions such as Pelvic Pain Syndrome that make the experience of sex painful
- Bad sexual/ psychological experience in a relationship/ Verbal or Physical Abuse in a relationship
- Reduced self-esteem
- Bad habits, such as smoking/alcohol
Women shoulder the responsibility of multiple roles. They are called to be good mothers, devoted wives, successful professionals while struggling to cope with exhausting beauty standards.
Also, women face a great deal of ageism. Often women over 45 are considered “invisible” in the eyes of men, although in recent years this tends to decrease, thanks to global campaigns for women’s empowerment.
Causes that create low libido in men
Different psychological or physical reasons also affect male libido.
According to a new study done in Japan, men with low libido, over 40 years old, have twice the risk of early death from cancer and about one and a half times more risk of early death from heart disease.
It should also be clarified that low libido in men is not the same as erectile dysfunction, although they are sometimes linked.
What are the causes of low libido in men?
- Psychological pressure
- Low testosterone
- Chronic pains
- Depression, anxiety disorders
- Addiction to adult films
- Lack of purpose in life or as the Japanese call it the lack of ikigai, which is the reason for living, what gives one joy and motivation in life
- Bad habits, such as smoking / alcohol
- Restless legs syndrome. According to a study, men who experienced this syndrome at least five times a month had twice the risk of erectile dysfunction than those who did not have the syndrome.
- Poor sleep
- Advanced age
Men are often pressured to live up to certain social norms such as “men are strong”, “men don’t cry”, “men are always in the mood for sex”. Thus a vicious psychological cycle is created, since psychological or physical reasons cause low libido which in turn causes severe psychological problems and men’s intense fear that they will not be able to cope “as men” in a sexual activity.
Low libido in couples
According to research, in a heterosexual relationship it is the woman who usually has the lowest libido.
However, regardless of whether it is the woman or the man who has the lower libido, both sexes are affected in the relationship the same, since it becomes a common relationship problem.
In addition to the individual physical, psychological and physical reasons we mentioned above for low libido in women and low libido in men, low libido in a relationship is mainly related to problems between the couple, such as:
- Emotional detachment
- Lack of communication
- Verbal / physical abuse
- Financial stress
- Controlling the relationship through sex
Many times, financial problems, problems with children, daily stress reduce the couple’s sexual desire.
Some use NO to sex, as a form of punishment for their partner. In this way, however, they end up punishing their own relationship, and thus themselves.
Also, it is normal over the years to decrease the desire of one for the other, which in the early years was mainly the work of hormones.
Often couples forget that to maintain interest in their relationship, especially if it counts for many years, it takes work from both.
Ways to increase your libido
You can look to your doctor for various medicinal treatments to increase your libido.
There are also natural, simple and easy ways to deal with low libido at every age and for every gender. Sometimes, it can be enough to be in the mood to increase it, especially if you have lost all interest in sex.
(If you are single)
Nothing is sexier than a man or woman who takes care of themselves. Not in a narcissistic way, but with a genuine healthy love.
- Renew yourself with a new haircut or a new wardrobe
- Get sexy underwear
- Choose a new perfume that makes you feel more romantic.
- Walk around the house naked, sleep naked. Look at your body in the mirror with love.
- Find ways to deal with the stress in your life
- Reduce excessive smoking/alcohol/food
- Enjoy (in moderation) vitamin D by relaxing in the sun
- Sleep better
- Exercise. Exercising and taking care of your body boosts your mood for sex.
- Watch (in moderation) erotic films
- Fantasize / masturbate
(If you are a couple)
According to research, sex, money and housework – not necessarily in that order – are among the most difficult topics for a couple to talk about. Their exclusion, however, from their communication ultimately leads to the separation of the couple itself.
- Talk openly about your relationship problems. If you’re afraid to do it yourself, see a relationship counselor.
- Start with hugs, caresses, and kisses. The saying “with eating comes appetite” certainly applies to sex.
- Renew your bedroom, with sexier colors, satin sheets, scents that raise the sexual mood.
- Book an appointment, just like the old days. Meet somewhere outside and spend the night in a hotel room. Sometimes, even a change of images and environment can work wonders and reawaken the lost libido between you.
- Experiment. Nothing is forbidden in a couple’s sexual act, as long as both have given their consent. If you’re not open to others, you might benefit from role-playing or some sex toys to add some spice to your sex life, especially if it’s bogged down in the routine.
- Watch adult movies together (in moderation). You are the protagonists of your sex life.
Aphrodisiac foods & herbs
There’s a scene in the movie “9½ Weeks” where Mickey Rourke blindfolded his love interest Kim Basinger and fed her different flavours of food, fruit and drinks he had in the fridge.
Even if you don’t want to act out this scene with your partner, you definitely already know how aphrodisiac some foods are, so put them on the menu of your sex life!
- Seafood, such as clams and oysters and octopus, has amino acids, zinc, selenium and are a good source of niacin. All of these have an aphrodisiac effect, especially for men, since they produce testosterone, and contribute to better blood supply to the male reproductive system.
- Nuts, avocado, and tahini have vitamin E, which is considered to have a direct effect on sexual function.
- Salmon and sea bream which are foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids improve blood circulation and contribute to better sexual function.
- It is no coincidence that vanilla often becomes a perfume, since its aroma increases the mood for sex.
- Chili and curry raise body temperature and more!
- Saffron saffron has been proven to stimulate libido in both men and women, and according to a study by Food Research International, our Kozani saffron contains some compounds that increase both sexual desire and performance.
- Red wine, a rich source of flavonoids that improve the circulatory system, relaxes the senses and increases the mood for sex.
- Chocolate, thanks to the phenylethylamine it contains, releases endorphins that improve your mood and make you feel sexier!
- Tribole or trioli or pentaxyl is considered the herb of testosterone, and is the most natural solution for sexual problems in men and women.
- Sage, although it sounds innocent, is the anti-impotence herb and has stimulant properties.
- Rosemary has intense astringent properties and is considered highly aphrodisiac.
You can also look for herbs in essential oils to enjoy their benefits, through a relaxing massage.
Traditional Chinese Medicine and Libido
In Traditional Chinese Medicine the kidney is called “the root of life” because it contains the quintessence of jing, which is transferred from the parents to the fetus at conception. The quintessence of jing is inextricably linked to sexual energy, and is precious to life because it gives birth to life itself.
Therefore, in Traditional Chinese Medicine low libido is treated as a result of an imbalance between Yin (female energy) and Yang (male energy) in the meridian organ system, which includes the kidneys, sexual organs and hormones.
This imbalance of Yin and Yang in the kidneys is treated with different combinations of herbs and acupuncture.
The libido chakra is the 2nd energy chakra, the Sacred center or Swadhisthana. It is located a few centimeters below your belly button. It is orange in color and is associated with water.
If you feel low libido and creativity, it is most likely that your Sacred center is blocked.
Your thoughts and emotions block the energy flowing through your body.
Unblock your Sacred Center by repeating positive beliefs:
- I embrace my sexuality
- I love my body and take care of it
- I allow myself to be romantic
- I let myself be caressed with confidence
Drink water and swim. Revitalize your body, hydrate it, feel the flow within it again.
Eat orange foods such as orange, mango and pumpkin.
Meditate on your own or with the help of crystals. Watch the orange energy as it cleanses your Sacred center and stimulates your sexuality and creativity. Open to the liberating orange energy.
Energy Healing – Your Growth Guide
Libido is the natural drive for sexuality defined by the brain and hormones. The best treatment for low libido is holistic treatment.
Choose which of the energy treatments suits you and open with confidence to the flow that brings back the mood for life and healthy expression of your sexuality.
Each energy treatment works in addition to any doctor’s treatment or counseling session you attend. No medications are provided.